Re

JB: Thanks for the translation. I can always count on you to be savvy with the language of the intertubes. (See you already know a second language.)

Jordan: Thanks for the support on the home front. The threat is real and the stakes are dire, now is when we need everyone to step up and give that little extra to insure our men and woman on the simian front have the edge they need. A big part of our campaign has been education of the people at home and abroad of the terrible truth of the monkey menace.
Because Knowing Is Half The Battle!

Cathy: Don't worry about the cake. It's a lie anyway.

Kathy: The coffee is terrible. Well OK, it's alright. But it's not what you think of when you want coffee. Imagine yourself in a distant land, REALLY wanting a good cup of coffee with maybe a bit of sugar and splash of cream. You walk into a cafe and say, "ek pyala kay coffee dijiay" (dee-jee-ay), which as everyone knows means "please give me one cup of coffee." Now you're feeling pretty good about your ability to get what you want in a strange and confusing land... until your drink arrives.

It is a small glass of beige liquid, and if you're lucky it will be hot. Upon closer examination you find that what you hold is hot milk that has been strained through instant coffee and Marsala(Indian spices). It's has too much sugar in it to be bad tasting and so you drink it, but it leaves you with an empty feeling in your soul that you know only a real cup of coffee could ever fill.

If you learn enough about Indian culture to know to order Kala(black) Coffee from a south Indian restaurant you will still wined up with a cup of the worst instant coffee you have ever tasted, and when you request cream and sugar they will look at you like you're crazy for not just ordering regular coffee. However, this cup of bitter, warm, swill will taste amazing to you and you will relish it just for being what it is.